-to pass my performance exam without serious embarrassment
-to succeed in Operation: Get Rid of the Poo Shit -to go shopping and actually BUY some clothes (Ye gods...I loathe shopping..I know I know..I'm so unfemale..)
So...what's up with me? Well, the past few days have been, at best, a blur. Plus, I'm having this nagging sore throat, which is a sure sign that I'll be sick.
Bleh...Tomorrow's another day. Another day living how I lived yesterday. Is life meant to be like this? As a kid, I always thought that life was/would be exciting. Fabulous.
Then I grew up.
You know how when you're a kid, there was just this one thing in which you wanted so much, and that you just knew when you finally had it...your life would be complete. And you'd never feel sad again. You know what I mean? Heh. Yeah, I remember my childish desire.
And everyday you would just wish and wish. The possibility of it coming true was what made life so...so...exciting. Always looking forward to the big day.
Did I get it?
No.
Sad, right?
Though depressing as that might sound, I realize that it gets worst as you grow older. You wonder why you would ever want such a thing. You then forget.
You want this. Keep in mind that 'this' doesn't necessary mean an actual 'thing'. Could be an oppurtunity, or whatever. You're not thinking straight. ( Ah...ignorance is bliss... ) You ignore the possibility that it wouldn't happen. Heck, You KNOW that it'll never happen, but that doesn't stop you from hoping.
But as a kid, you would think all things you're going to do with it. You're so SURE that you'll receive it.
See the difference in thinking?
Then comes the reality check. You get to a point where you say, "Man...I wish I was still that little kid hoping for that ( the childhood wish ). It was more fun that way.
You smile and remember the countless of times you've begged you parents for it. All the scribbly notes you 'hid' in convenient places. The waiting alone at home, then jumping up and running to hte door once you hear the car door slam, shouting frantically, "Dod you get it? Did you get it?" The disappointment afterwards when they both shakes their heads. And the skinned knees when you slid down beside your bed ( Funny how kids think if they kneel beside their bed at night and ask God for something, it's a sure guarantee. ) and praying the same prayer. And promising to become the 'goodest little girl' there ever was. Or vowing to become a missionary. "...Just please...May I have it?...Please, God? Amen. Oh, and thank you for today."
