Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder-

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

So...what's up with me? Well, the past few days have been, at best, a blur. Plus, I'm having this nagging sore throat, which is a sure sign that I'll be sick.

Bleh...Tomorrow's another day. Another day living how I lived yesterday. Is life meant to be like this? As a kid, I always thought that life was/would be exciting. Fabulous.

Then I grew up.

You know how when you're a kid, there was just this one thing in which you wanted so much, and that you just knew when you finally had it...your life would be complete. And you'd never feel sad again. You know what I mean? Heh. Yeah, I remember my childish desire.

And everyday you would just wish and wish. The possibility of it coming true was what made life so...so...exciting. Always looking forward to the big day.

Did I get it?

No.

Sad, right?

Though depressing as that might sound, I realize that it gets worst as you grow older. You wonder why you would ever want such a thing. You then forget.

You want this. Keep in mind that 'this' doesn't necessary mean an actual 'thing'. Could be an oppurtunity, or whatever. You're not thinking straight. ( Ah...ignorance is bliss... ) You ignore the possibility that it wouldn't happen. Heck, You KNOW that it'll never happen, but that doesn't stop you from hoping.

But as a kid, you would think all things you're going to do with it. You're so SURE that you'll receive it.

See the difference in thinking?

Then comes the reality check. You get to a point where you say, "Man...I wish I was still that little kid hoping for that ( the childhood wish ). It was more fun that way.

You smile and remember the countless of times you've begged you parents for it. All the scribbly notes you 'hid' in convenient places. The waiting alone at home, then jumping up and running to hte door once you hear the car door slam, shouting frantically, "Dod you get it? Did you get it?" The disappointment afterwards when they both shakes their heads. And the skinned knees when you slid down beside your bed ( Funny how kids think if they kneel beside their bed at night and ask God for something, it's a sure guarantee. ) and praying the same prayer. And promising to become the 'goodest little girl' there ever was. Or vowing to become a missionary. "...Just please...May I have it?...Please, God? Amen. Oh, and thank you for today."

Haha! Cute, right?

Ah...good times...good times...

the beauty exposed ;

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Well, we have a winner. Our American Idol is Taylor Hicks from Alabama!

Whoo...go soul patrol!

Well, to be totally honest, he wasn't my fav. My favs in order were Chris--

Elliot--

Then Taylor.

But in my heart, Clay Aiken is the true American Idol. I don't care that he was the runner up ( season two ) Clay is the everlasting American Idol!

*melts in a puddle*

No, I'm not that shallow. I know he's totally hot and cute at the same time, but he's an amazing singer and a wonderful performer.

the beauty exposed ;

Sunday, May 21, 2006

You know, some songs just trigger emotions and memories that you've kept hidden inside. I was just watching TV just now, and this song by S-Club Seven did it for me. I actually heard this song right after *ahem* and fell in love with it. Then a few years later, I hear it again.

Everybody's got something they have to leave behind,
One regret from yesterday that just seems to grow with time,
There's no use looking back or wondering,
How it could be now or might've been,
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go.

I never had a dream come true 'til the day that I found you,
Even though I pretend that I've moved on,
You'll always be my baby,
I never found the words to say,
You're the one I think about each day,
And I know no matter where life takes me to,
A part of me will always be with you.

Somewhere in my memory I've lost all sense of time,
And tomorrow can never be, because yesterday is all that fills my mind,
There's no use looking back or wondering,
How it should be now or might've been,
All this I know but still I can't find ways to let you go.

*chorus*

Every word of that song described everything! It's so strange that after so long, there's still this connection. Even HE has to admit that.

*nods*

Ah well...

the beauty exposed ;

Monday, May 15, 2006

I guess it's about time I posted about the Pacer Ball. It was a church event to celebrate the fifth anniversary of the existence of Pacers. Wow...five years...I can still remember the first few Pacers...all five of them.

So, to celebrate the momentous occasion, they decided to organise this ball. You know, the Cinderalla type. Wait, no. Haha! Not that kind of ball when all the bachelorettes in town trying to impress the prince.

Like all balls, it was a social event. So that was nice. Besides, we all get to dress up!

That's Kat, Eleni and myself.

Before dinner, there this time of 'mingling'. Basically, as people come in we are to go around to meet new people. It was funny because when we - our gang- always ended up together.

"Hey, meet anyone interesting?"
"Nah, not really."
"Oh, look. There's so and so."
"My, he looks great!"
"So have you watched MI 3 yet?"

And so on. Then someone says, "Um, Aren't we supposed to mingle?"

Then the same thing happens. After a while, we gave up and stuck together. Hehe...

Oh, the girls, I mean ladies, were given corsages when we walked in. Nice.

This is my view from me table. Sorry about the poor quality.

The food was good. I wasn't planning on taking pictures of the food, but now I wish I had. *smacks forehead* Anyway, there were four courses. I'm no food critic, but I say it was good.

There was an interesting plan about the dinner. The seating was guy girl guy girl. After every course the men are to switch to another table. The new table was by their choice. New table, new people.

But the men missed the first chance. Pastor was enjoying the company at his table so much that he forgot to announce the switch.

During the switching, there was some speculation. "Oh look, there he goes. I knew he was going to chose that table!" "I wonder where's he going." "Whoops, I think he's lost."

Anyway, there was dancing after a talk from Pastor. No, not that kind. More like line dancing. First was a traditional Victorian...sort of dance. Then a swing style. And I'm not sure what kind was the last one. Haha!

Everyone went a little crazy at the photo taking. When are we going to dress up again anyway?

Group picture.

Haha!

Uh...Randomness...

Rose Among the Thorns. (Thanks Felix!)

Me and my brother.

My brother and Angel, doing a serious pose.

Angel and Josh again.

Willie and me.

Me and Fooman.

Overall, it was a great night.

the beauty exposed ;

Monday, May 08, 2006

Yes, in a previous life ( so it seems ) I went to Middle Earth. You know, Lord of the Rings Country. That was in January 2004. For QVSS - Queenstown Violin Summer School. I was fifteen soon-to-be-sixteen.

Actually the fact that I did manage to go was nothing short of a miracle. We found out about a month before it started. Sent in the audition tape a week later with a letter apologizing the late entry, and precisely one and a half weeks, the letter of acceptance came in through email.

Before I knew what was going on, I was at the airport....with a ten-hour journey ahead of me.

This being my virgin-solo trip, I was desperately trying to remember the loads of advice my parents gave me. What to do when this happens. Who to call. Plus the century-old parental admonishment - "Don't talk to strangers!"

I think the best advice came Joshua - "Whatever you do, make sure you board the right plane."

Did I mention I had to switch flights? Yep.

Anyway, I got to Auckland in one piece, with one minor disaster. While in Brunei, my flight to Auckland was delayed for three hours. I had to tell my parents so that they could inform the people picking me up at Auckland. So they wouldn't have to wait three hours for me. I ignored the "Don't talk to strangers!" saying and bravely approached a lady with a handphone. I took about an hour to muster up the courage.

And the first thing my dad said when he recognized my weak hello was, "Why aren't you on the plane?!"

^^Everyone in NZ was in the Lord of the Rings fever. This huge wall poster of the two hobbits was in the the waiting room inthe Auckland airport.

Oh! And during my traveling, people kept sneaking furtive looks at me. Guess they thought I was carrying a machine gun aka my violin case. Haha!

I stayed with a Chinese family in Auckland. They were really nice. Three kids. All younger than me.

Sure, it was colder than Sabah, but it was the pleasant kind of cold. I thought to myself, "This isn't too bad."

I had my camera on the flight from Auckland to Queestown. I took some pictures of the
scenery. It's very different from Malaysia, I can tell you that!

^^Touchdown on Queestown!

It so was freaking cold! The cold air hits you like a wall. And the wind just whips around you, flapping your clothes and significantly lowering the temperature.

Being a tropical bunny, I was, no doubt, in for a 'great' time.

By the time I reached the "Holiday Park" ( That's where the students were staying ) I was shivering.

I was introduced to my Japanese roommate, Tomoko. She was a really fun person. Spoke English perfectly well.

I was the mystery girl in the whole school. You see, all of the students knew each other already. Then here's this Chinese new girl.

Seeing that I looked different from them, they assumed that I didn't speak English well.

"Hi."
"Hey."
"Um...do you speak English?" (very very slowly)
Pause. "As a matter of fact, yes, I do speak English. And wow, so do you." *patronizing smile*

Silly people.

For our lessons and practices, we had to walk to this cathedral.

Which was down a long road.

Past a huge and wide parking lot.

And up a high and steep hill.

^^The slant of the hill is absolute hell!

Quite a trip. Plus we had to lug our books, violins and music stands.

So that was that. Every night, we had mini concerts - fellow students as the audience and critics. And a showcase concert on weekends for the public. And a finale conert at the end of school.

Studywise it was fun. I learned a lot, and worked hard. Everyone did.

The other students. I wasn't very social for the first few days. Basically because I didn't know what the heck they were saying! The Kiwi accent is hard to get used to.

My roommates- Tomoko and Regina ( she's Korean ) were fun. They were real nice and we had a great time. After a week, Anna from Australia moved into our room, saying that she didn't fit into her roommates. Anna and I turned out to be close friends. We were always together.

The guys. Well, basically I only talked to Daniel and Josh from Dunedin, Ben, Alex from Christchurch. Yeah...I was a shy-ish one.

And yes, there was drama. Between Ben and I. Benjamin Morrison, the star of the school. He's made a CD and is famous and all that.

What really happened? Well, I know this is a walk down Memory Lane, but...I'll keep that to myself.. Haha..

the beauty exposed ;

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

It was really great! I had an awesome time. The camera's being tempermental right now, so I'll post the pictures later.

Everyone looked so good! Really, I could barely recognize some of the guys. You always see them in jeans and tee shirts that look as if they were run over by a cement truck. Then you see them in penguin suits!...uh...I mean, tuxes. Haha! Boo Yeah!

I'm was a little disappointed, no, make that very very disappointed, that Chan wasn't there. Aw..Chan... Ok, I know you're really busy. Being a doctor and all. Just want to let you know that I really did miss you. See you on Sunday. I'll call you or something before then.

The food. It was good. First time I ate cake. yes, you heard me. I NEVER eat cake. But I did last night. Haha!

Well, got to go right now. I promise to post the pictures soon. Keep checking in!

~Johanna

the beauty exposed ;